This could only happen to me.

Rick and Dan had to go to Vegas for work. Jackie and I decided to meet them there for the weekend.  Rick had to work Friday night .  Dan ,Jackie, and I ,plus a few others decide to go to the all you can eat buffet at the Fremont. While sitting there enjoying my meal, I felt a rip in the bottom part of the leg of my jeans. So  I looked to see what happened. This is were it got ridiculous. I called a server over and showed him not only the very small rip in my jeans but also the nail sticking out of the chair.  Here's how the conversation went.

I am fine could you please just move the chair so no one else gets hurt. 
I will get a manager.
Fine be could you at lest move the chair?
I will get a manager..

 Then he walks away, Every one is looking in our direction to see what is going on. The manager shows up. I show her the chair. And the little tear. I inform her that I am fine. I just would like the chair removed and get another one. ( by this time people are really watching.) The manager informs me security is on it's way.
.
Mam, All I want is the chair replaced with another one; I am fine.
Sorry we have to wait for security. They need to investigate .

Now everyone is watching. So I am still waiting for a new chair. Jackie and the others are now starting to giggle. Up come the two security guards. I swear to you I thought I was in a comedy. Up walk these two guards, one tall and thin and the other short and round. And they didn't look too bright.  I mentally scolded my self for being mean. I don't know if I need to do that or not as things played out. It got really comical after that.

 Mam we understand you have a problem.  Could you tell us what happened?
  There is a nail in the chair and I ask to have it removed so no one else would get hurt. It tore a little hole in my jeans where the nail caught it. It could really hurt someone in a dress or a child.
Mam do you need a paramedic.
No I am not hurt I just don't want anyone else hurt.
Can we see the leg?
Sure but I am not hurt it just got the jeans. so I showed them my leg.
Mam are you sure you don't want a paramedic.
Yes.
Can you show use where the nail is in the chair.
Yes so I show them.( I swear the next thing they say is true)
He turns to the thin guy and says Take this chair to the security room so we can investigate it.

By now Dan has his hand over his mouth. And everyone in there is enjoying the show.  

Mam would you like to fill out a report.
Do I have to.
No Mam we can fill a report as a customer report .
Ok do that. I really don't want to have to fill out forms.
Mam are you saying you don't want to fill a complaint.
Yes the chair has been removed,I am fine.
Mam are you sure your not hurt.
Yes not even a scratch.
Are you sure you don't want a ambulance.
Yes I am fine.
Are you sure you don't want medical attention.
Yes I don't want medical attention I am not hurt. 
Are you sure you don't want to fill out the forms. 
Yes I am sure.
Mam are you sure you don't want to fill a complaint.
Yes I am sure. 
Mam what do you want done.

  Nothing the chairs gone I am good.
So your sure you don't want to fill the forms or need medical attention.  
Yes I am sure.I would just like to leave to see the light show. 
 If you're sure have a good night. And he walks a way.

By this time everyone at the table is shaking they heads and smirking. And I am totally embarrassed.  I told my dad about it. He laughed thru the whole story. He  then told me they have to repeat it over and over again  so people can't come back and sue them.  Maybe so, but I felt like I was in a comedy show.